I've decided I love Jenny McCarthy's Oprah-blog. It's like watching a mad scientist---you know he's gonna blow something up, but still, those Tesla coils have a beautiful inutility. Her latest piece is truly a monument to stupidity, and if she really keeps this up, I'll never run out of blog-fodder.
It's called "Poop Stories", and it's about, well, Jenny's poop, so pull on those hip-waders and let's go take a look.
I don't know why I've always loved talking about poop, but to me it is a great tool in detecting what's wrong in our bodies.
Heh heh. She said "tool".
I continuously monitor Evan's poop by sending it to labs to get tested to make sure things are all running smoothly (no yeast, no bacteria, no infections).
That poor child. He can't even go to the can in peace. I send patient's stool to the lab from time to time. The lab loves me for that. I'm not sure how looking at it shows if things are "running smoothly", and I'm pretty sure that everyone's poop is chock full of yeast and bacteria. As far as infections, well, if someone has an infection--of the, what, colon?--then it's not too hard to find common pathogens like giardia, Salmonella, etc. Most cases of gastroenteritis are viral and we rarely recover the pathogen.
Sometimes these things can exist without any physical manifestations, so I like to test for them to make sure he is in perfect health.
I never knew Jenny was a Zen sensei. What does it mean for something to "exist without any physical manifestations?" Great. Now I can't stop thinking of a monkey.
I decided to take the test myself and see how my body was doing, considering I come from a history of lifelong constipation (I'm talking once every 14 days before a movement).
Lovely. I'm sure the stool sample will explain that.
Low and behold, my tests came back and I'm a mess!
Yes, but I don't think you needed to send poo in the mail to find that out.
I have two gnarly gut bugs, and I have extremely high amounts of yeast in my gut.
I'm not sure what that means. Poop is naturally full of micro-organisms, and the alternative medicine gurus frequently tell us not to screw around with all those yummy, beneficial bacteria. Both the alties and real doctors agree that you shouldn't just pop antimicrobial meds like
amphetamines jelly beans, but that won't stop you. Jenny will not be deterred!
So, I started myself on an antifungal, and my poops have been phenomenal! Yeast, yeast, yeast, all coming out!
First, ewww. Second...no, there is no second. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot on the yeast pouring out, though.
I personally think the majority of women have an overload of this stuff, especially if you have ever been on an antibiotic and then didn't follow it with a probiotic. Also, the more yeast that comes out, the more my acne seems to be getting better.
Thank you for sharing your personal views, no matter how non-sensiscal.
When Evan was killing candida (back in the day), he was irritable and cranky.
I really cannot imagine why.
Now that I think about it, that is probably why I have been irritable and cranky too (besides PMS).
You mean because the rest of your body is desperately trying to escape from your brain and find a new home that doesn't require pooping for the postman?
This is also another reason I'm craving sugar and going through withdrawal. If anyone wants to learn more about yeast, please order a book called The Yeast Syndrome. Truly amazing and could change your life. Especially those who have sugar addictions. Until then, enjoy your poops!
Ah, the pitch. You just knew there had to be a point to this, and money makes much more sense than yeast.
Oprah, why did you hire Jenny? Was losing Dr. Oz that hard on you?